How do I break off the relationship?

Hey Rosie,

I honestly don’t know what to do, so I need you to help me clarify it. If I can see you, I’ll really appreciate it. I’ve been in a relationship for the past six years and I need to know if I should leave or stay. My boyfriend had another girl while we were together. When I found out, it got worse, as the girl became pregnant. We have a son together and she got pregnant for him because she thought he would leave me for her.{{more}} I believe that one day she is going to take the child and use it against me and him. So before it reaches to that, what can I do? I want to leave because he lies, yet I can’t leave. I’ve tried to leave but keep going back. How do I break off the relationship?

Denise

Dear Denise,

You said it all. “How do I break off this relationship?” This lets me know that you are unhappy with your current situation. So what are you going to do?

With another woman and baby in the picture, there is this layer of the “other woman” always looming. I am not saying to you that you can’t make your relationship work. But you will need two committed individuals who want to work this out. This requires open, honest, painful talk about where you went wrong and where you go from here. Your boyfriend can’t have his cake and eat it, too. He has to choose (if that’s what you want). That has to be made clear to him. No one should be made to feel like a second fiddle in their relationship.

On the other hand, if you want to leave, you can survive with your pride in tact. I know it’s painful because you must have loved him or still do. However, you are feeling short changed, so start thinking about the future for you and your son. Let him have a relationship with his father. Do not keep him away from his father out of spite. You will be only hurting your baby. Forge forward with your life; maybe going back to school, traveling, excelling in your career, and so forth.

If the pain becomes overwhelming, seek counseling. Talking to someone helps you to clear your mind and put a plan in place. Believe me, you can do this! Finally, ignore the other woman. Do not be pulled into the name calling, shouting and classless behavior while fighting over this man. Both of you should not get into this. Consider this a lesson learned, and what you will not accept in your other relationship in the future. You deserve a one woman man. Be strong.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.