Should I be back with him?

Hey Rosie,



I am 17 years of age and I have experienced more things in life than a woman who is 30 years old.{{more}}

I got raped, and maybe that is why I have been like this. I have been moving around from guy to guy in search of love. I met this guy that I finally thought I could settle down with. I loved him to death, and I still do. He really made me feel like he loved me and never wanted to leave me. He talks to me about school and life because he is much older than me and he said that he doesn’t want me to make the mistakes all the other girls do, because of how much he loved me.

Then all of a sudden, he began to act strange, and I knew he had another woman. I was by him and a woman came by his house. Although he chased her, I didn’t say anything because I wanted him to think that I am a cool girl. But then when I asked who that girl was, he said it was his cousin, but I knew he lied because she always called his phone and sent text messages, and whenever he is bathing, I will usually read his messages. So I decided to cheat also with another guy, and then another, but he found out, and even then, he still begged back to be with me.

We broke up many times, and we always get back together, but then I feel he’s cheating, so I always argue with him. Last month I proved that he has been cheating, so I left for good. I usually call him whenever we are mad and hang up, but now I don’t, but then last week, he texted me and my heart became soft. I love him Rosie, but I don’t know what to do. Should I be back with him or what? I need help.

Devastated and Confused

Dear Devastated and Confused,

Yes, indeed, you have had a very complicated and painful life for a 17 year old, and I am so sorry. You did not deserve to be raped. This isn’t your fault. It’s with the fool that raped you, and this is something that I MUST encourage you to deal with immediately. Please seek counseling, please. Be it professionally or through your church or school, you need to gain some clear perspective as to why you keep putting yourself through these painful relationships.

I understand that you are looking for some sort of stability and affection in your life, but going from guy to guy isn’t going to help the situation. Also, from what you are saying, this current man you are seeing isn’t good for you either. Please do not mistake him giving you advice about school and life for someone that is a good fit for you, because sadly he isn’t.

What you truly need is a mentor; someone (preferably a level headed female) to take you under her wing and help re-direct you unto a path of self-fulfillment and self worth. Someone who can teach you to let go of the past and embrace your future. I would hope that you would learn you wouldn’t need a man first to feel worthy. You seem to be very intelligent and in touch with the hurt that you are going through. So we need for you to channel that into positive energy and a new chapter in your life.

Even though your heart is softening, I have to say that you should avoid this man and others like him for a while. Start focusing on getting help and working through those obstacles that are causing you to make these painful mistakes. I want you to keep saying to yourself that “I am worth much more than this” everyday. As you begin to heal, you will be able to see more clearly how many great things are ahead of you. Many blessings to you, my friend.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.