‘I want her back in my life, but I don’t want her’
Hey Rosie,
My life seems like hell. I had a best friend that I loved dearly. I never wanted to lose her, then she started to fool around with all these guys. She would jump from guy to guy and she has sex with them. She gets upset with me when I try to talk to her and she says I donât ever like any of the guys she is with.{{more}} She then chooses to believe a guy over me and she curses me out like never before. She ended our friendship over that, and I had so many sleepless nights because of her. I love her to death. I try to talk, but she doesnât listen. All I do is stress over her, and she goes along with all these guys like itâs no problem. We talk sometimes if we feel like, and when we see each other, we hardly ever say hi, and it is hurting me deep down inside. I donât know what else to do. I want her back in my life, but I donât want her. I am confused and depressed. I donât know what to do. Help me, please.
Confused Teen
Dear Confused Teen,
I can hear how much this hurts you and I feel for you. This is such a difficult situation when you lose the closeness of a very good friend. However, as painful as this experience is for you, this is not at all your fault, and she will have to want the friendship back, no matter how much you try.
You see, you are both on two different paths right now. You seem to be a very steady person who looks before you leap. On the other hand, she is in a very experimental and might I add very dangerous stage in her life. There must be a reason that she is behaving like this, but without knowing her situation, I can only help you at the moment. In life, we are going to have many people come in and out of it. There are some people that are there for life. Some who are there for a period of time when you are going through something, and some who come in quickly and then go.
Even though this is your girl and you are a loyal friend, you are going to have to let her be. You can give people the best advice, be there when they are down and try to fix a situation when itâs broken, but at this point, it seems as though she doesnât want that. I know you are in pain, because sometimes a friend can be closer than family, but you canât force her to go back to the way things were.
So, maybe you can reach out to a trusted teacher or a mentor and talk about how you feel. Also get involved in other activities such as: sports, meeting new people, a new hobby etc. Continue to wish your friend well, but at the moment I would feed her with a long spoon. She isnât good for you (emotionally) at this time and she is in another zone. This, too, shall pass. Just understand that you are in the middle of a painful lesson, one that you can pull from as you go forward in life. You will get past this, I promise.
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,
Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.
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