My Prince is not charming
Hey Rosie,
How are you? Let me tell you my life story. I have been married for 4 years. I have never cheated on my husband. I cook, clean and wash. I have to ask my husband if I can use the washing machine. I donât have a key for the house. I have to sit down outside when I come from work until my husband gets home. Last month I waited outside from 4 to after 7.{{more}}
When we first got married, his ex used to call him and send him sex messages. I used to call her and argue. I also told him to stop her from calling. He said he wouldnât do that. She calls when she feels like; she calls early in the morning and late at night. He hides food from me and just about everything else. I have to ask him if I can use his things, eg. the computer, DVD, etc. He told me people I donât know have stopped talking to him because of me. He doesnât give me anything at all.
For the past 4 years since we have been married, he never gave me a gift for any occasion. When I try to talk to him, his response is that I am thinking about things that are not important. So my birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc. are not important. He thinks he is always right. We are staying at a relativeâs house, so we have to find a place to rent. He looked for a place for himself. I canât afford to pay rent on my own. What should I do? Should I seek legal advice? The thing that hurt me the most is that he was brought up in church and he goes to church. His pastor did not marry us, mine did. Should I go to his pastor?
I need someone to talk to
Dear I need someone to talk to,
I am truly stunned by this letter, really I am. This is not a marriage, a union or partnership. It feels like you are âthe helpâ, or sad to say almost like a slave of sorts. After all of this horrible treatment youâve received from your so-called husband, you are still with him after 4 LONG years? Again, I go back to saying that Iâm stunned by this marriage.
After all, you have told me you want to know if you should seek counseling to stay in this toxic relationship? Well I think you can guess my answer, it is âNOâ!
Thankfully, you havenât mentioned children, and that is a big blessing that there may not be any. Even if you do have children, this would be a poor example for them to follow. More importantly, you mentioned that you work. That in itself is the biggest blessing at the moment. Start making plans to move on without your âPrince Not Charmingâ. Maybe you may have to rent a room or seek a room mate in order to afford this at first, but that would be great, it would create some form of independence and stability in your life.
I also agree with you, seek legal help in order to end this sham of a marriage. You must say to yourself everyday that you deserve much, much more. Never settle for the dregs at the bottom of the glass; you should only have the finest and the purest things in life, and he isnât it. Oh, yes, two things before I go. Seek some counseling to determine why you would have put up with this nonsense for this long, and search deep within to make the necessary changes. Secondly, continue to seek for self improvement in your life, via education, different role models and friends. You can absolutely do this without this man, and I wish you strength and courage on your new journey.
Rosie
Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com
N.B. Please note that Rosie does not answer private letters.
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