Hey Rosie!
December 4, 2009
Three things…

Hi Rosie,

I am a regular reader of your letters and enjoy the advice you give to young people.

Rosie, I am in a situation and I don’t know what to do. I am an intelligent and attractive young lady who a lot of people look up to. I am with this guy and I am carrying his child, but I don’t believe I am the only one he has.{{more}}

Every time I search his phone there are messages from a different number. Rosie, the thing is, every time I leave him, he keeps calling me back. Every time my ex calls to find out how things are, he nags. My ex has forgiven me for what happened between us and wants us to forget about everything and move on with life together. He wants me to get married to him. He will be home in December and that’s when he is looking for an answer.

Rosie, there are a lot of guys behind me, even now I am pregnant and I don’t want to continue messing up my life behind this man.

Please Help Me.

Dear Please Help Me,

I feel for you and your predicament. Sometimes we make some detours in life and it seems that we may never recover from them, but after the dust settles, we realize that there was a lesson in there to learn from.

So you are pregnant for your current boyfriend, who may be having extra-curricular activities on the side? Then to make this story even more interesting, you have your ex who still wants to marry you and become a father figure in your little one’s life? Wow! Who do you choose?

Let’s break it down three ways. The current boyfriend: I think you may be on the right track in thinking that he is cheating. The fact that you have to look at his phone, play detective and he is on edge when you are not within his sight only makes for a very uncomfortable set up. You know that saying: “If it walks and talks like a duck, it is a duck”. You have to decide if you are into ducks.

Now to the Ex: You guys broke up for some reason. So that lets me know that there were some holes as well in that relationship. There was something that you may not have been getting from him either. However, he must have some sort of genuine feelings for you, as he is still trying to build a solid future together. The question is, do you have real feelings for this man to say yes to his proposal?

Finally there is you. What are you going to do? You will not be the first or last woman to possibly raise a happy, healthy child by yourself by creating a safe, well rounded environment for both of you. Now please understand what I am saying here. I am not saying that you shouldn’t consider ALL of your options, but you must look at every angle with an objective eye. Your current boyfriend will always be your child’s father. If you do prove that he has been cheating and this is too much for you at the moment, you can still be co-parents.

Then I would hope that if you decide to go to your Ex, it would be because you love him and you see that he would be a good role model for your child, in addition to having a mutually respectful relationship to build on.

Or guess what? You can pray, be still and let the Lord reveal your answer. At the moment, you really do not need all of this drama and stress while you are pregnant. It’s not good for you or the baby. Oh, yes, and all the other suitors…please let them be. Your plate is full at the moment. Check out this site for some support, some online help: http://health.kosmix.com/topic/Support_Groups_For_Pregnant_Women?p=hl&as=yhoo&ac=1297

You are a very smart young lady at a cross roads at the moment. I have all the faith that you will make the best decision for you and your precious bundle. You already have it in you. Much love and support to you going forward.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.