Hey Rosie!
November 13, 2009
Shabby treatment! Yet you are in love?…

Hey Rosie     

I’M 16 years old and in form 5. I am writing to you because I need some advice.

For the past year, I have been in love with this boy who finished school this year.

I went away for vacation during the summer. When I got back, we finally hooked up, but we used to argue a lot over a whole lot of nonsense.{{more}}

Rosie, this boy lives in the Grenadines and when he came up, we only saw each other twice. Rosie I was shocked two weeks ago when he told me he wanted to break up.

Rosie, I have to be honest. I cried like a puppy dog. The next day he told one of my close friends that he really loves me but I’m not the one. In my opinion, this is bull. Then another close friend of mine told me that he said the only reason he broke up with me was because he wanted to see how I will react. Rosie, my friend, who I haven’t seen for a long time, went online and had a conversation with this boy. She saved the convo and sent it to me. In the conversation he told my friend that I’m a little girl and I have childish ways and there are lots of girls in St Vincent. He even asked my friend her number.

Rosie, we have been together for four weeks and I have been with men older than this boy who do not find me childish. Rosie, I am insanely in love with him and cannot let him go. He’s a great person and my past relationships have been with men older and more mature than this boy. It hurts to hear him say that about me. Rosie, please help me. I need advice. Is it wrong for me to be in love with a guy who says things like that? I want him back more than ever.

Insanely in love

Dear Insanely In love,

Where do I begin?  Do I begin with my regular speech about you being 16 and you should really be a carefree soul?  Do I address the fact that you are all caught up in a very “adult-like” drama when you don’t need it?  Or maybe I should mention that you only have known this guy for four weeks and you are “Insanely in Love”?

 My girl let’s go through this situation you are in at the moment.  You are all into this young man, but he is not treating you well.  There is a lot of back and forth, third party involvement and frankly shabby treatment here.  Yet, you are in love?  Then you “sprinkle” into the letter that you normally date “older” men and this boy is childish?   What older men?  Excuse me, I ask again what older men?  You are only 16!

Girl, let me get straight to the point.  This “hook-up” (your words) is not good.  Let him be.  This is not a good situation for you.  You are in a crucial year in High School and certainly do not need this type of drama.  Secondly, take a look at yourself and the type of people who may be in your circle of friends/associates.  Are they backstabbing and bad talking you behind your back?  That isn’t good either, maybe it is time to take stock in finding more positive people to be around.  Finally, I think you are looking for fulfilment from others instead of creating a sense of peace and strength from within.  You are so much stronger and more independent than you may even know at this point.

Is there a teacher or someone that you can talk to in confidence?  Try to find that mentor, someone you admire and trust.  This direction at the moment of a revolving door in bad relationships at such a young age is not good.  Along with the drama, you do not need it.  Please leave this young man alone.  Hang out with people your own age and have fun!  Fun that makes you a teenager.  Do not start a vicious cycle at such a young age of settling for poor behavior from others… especially the opposite sex.  It would only get worse as you get older. 

Know yourself first and what it is you will stand for, before you place any expectations on others who have no clue about where they are going at this point either.

Be strong and focused.  You can do it!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.