I want him back

Hey Rosie,

I have been in a long-term relationship for over eight years and I have three children with this man and he is my whole life. The problem is he changes his mind if he wants to be with me and the children. Sometimes he says he loves us and wants us to be together and other times he says ‘Don’t call him’. Rosie, I can’t keep going like this.{{more}} I even think he may have a woman overseas, because he goes away to work about twice a year for a while. Right now he isn’t dealing with me and the children and they also miss their father. What am I to do Rosie? How am I going to make it with the children? I want him back. Help me please!

Lonely

Dear Lonely,

The thing that troubles me in this whole set up is you. Forget this man at the moment. I am concerned about you. Why do you have such low self-esteem that you put up with this horrible and unacceptable behavior from this man?

If he wanted to be your husband and a full time father to your children, he would have committed already. Yet he is playing a High School game as if he isn’t a grown man with a woman, children and serious responsibilities. Does he support his children when he isn’t speaking to you? Children continue to eat and need shelter, so this is not a game.

How could you love a man before you even love yourself? If you really loved and held yourself in high esteem you would realize that this shabby treatment is not acceptable. Now to this man who you love and want back in your life; he isn’t worth it. Maybe he does or doesn’t have another woman. Who really cares at this point? What you need to do is have a plan in motion regarding taking care of your three little ones and yourself. Are you working? I hope so. If not, you have to start looking very hard. I know times are tough, but you have little ones to provide for.

Secondly, when your employment is settled, you need to maybe take some evening classes. Education is the key to your success. Remember you can do this. Never put yourself down. You can do it. Lastly, let’s get you into some sort of counseling, maybe with a church group, pastor, trusted family member or friend. Many women have gone through similar experiences and have come out winners, and so can you. I wish you God’s guidance.

Rosie.

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.