Hey Rosie!
January 30, 2009
I don’t like to share my man!

Hey Rosie,

I am a Vincy woman living in the U.S.A. I haven’t been dating for over a year. The reason is that I have been in a few relationships, where the guys are not serious, or some already had someone in there lives. The thing is, I don’t like to share my man.{{more}} And I usually tell this to my friends, whether men or women. When I do, they usually laugh and say there’s no way one can find someone for themselves. Do you agree with that statement?

However, I always say to them that I rather stay the way I am, than to be caught up in someone else’s mess. Give me your views.


Dear Sincere,

Of course I agree with you. I can’t believe that people would think that in a relationship we have to share our partner with another person. That is just nuts! It is not normal to share your boyfriend, fiance or spouse. If you have entered into an “open relationship”, that is another bag of tricks right there! You would have to take what you can get, and believe me, it doesn’t always work out. Inevitably, one of the partners wants to change the dynamics/rules of the relationship midstream, thereby causing a major conflict to the original agreement. Women like to trick themselves into thinking that they can handle this arrangement, but they really can’t. We aren’t wired that way naturally… to be a player, that is.

Let me also address another point that you made in your letter. This is in regard to your not wanting to share your regular friends with other people. This may not be the healthiest approach either. The joy of friendship is that we can learn to share and be part of a bigger picture. You could be putting your friends in a funny position because they know how you feel about sharing them with their other friends. Some may even say that you are a bit possessive. Remember, no man is an island. We should all learn to reach out to others.

You never know what you can learn from someone new or what you can bring to the table as well.

Good luck with your quest for an exclusive relationship. You deserve the very best. Also, be a little more open to letting in new people in your life as well. All the best.

Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.