Dear Rosie,

I am a 35-year-old single mother of 3, who has finally found a man that is actually worth my time. My darling has one child of his own. Now here is where the situation gets a little bit sticky! I’m sure you know where I’m going with this… baby momma drama! My boyfriend has custody of his daughter. Her mother was in jail for grand larceny and was just released in April of this year. He has been fighting the battle of his lif. All he wants is what’s best for his child.{{more}}

I think his baby mother assumed that once she was released from prison she would automatically get her daughter back. Well, the courts have given her supervised visitation, which is what we had been hoping for. Now the plot thickens. The child has been in her father’s custody since September. When she was sent to live with her father she was a compulsive liar! We have worked hard to instill values. She had stopped lying to her father, thankfully, that is, until she had been secretly contacted by her mother, who sent her a cell phone in a Happy Meals…you just can’t make it up!

My boyfriend’s baby momma has been nothing but drama. She has been trying to get him arrested in hopes that she will regain custody of her daughter. However, she has been advised by her child’s law guardian that she will not get custody of this child anytime soon. The way I see it, she should count her blessings and put her daughter’s best interest first, never mind what she may want. This woman is out on parole, mind you, Rosie! She has been nothing but trouble and I can’t wait until she violates her parole and is sent back to the slammer to finish the remainder of her sentence! Is there any hope for my blended family?

Respectfully,

Stressed out

Dear Stressed Out,

Your story has many, many layers! But at the heart of it lies a mother who is doing the very best with what she has been dealt! First of all, I am happy to know that you met someone who you deem worthy of your time. That is very difficult to come by.

Secondly, you are obviously a very caring person because you are taking care of your three little ones and still have compassion for your boyfriend’s troubled little one. What concerns me is that his daughter is seeing a lot of negative behavior from her mother. Therefore, she is acting out by lying and being very deceptive with regard to being in touch with her mother.

Like it or not, you are the “mother” figure in this child’s life. If her father is good to you and your children, you will have to reciprocate in the same way to his little girl. Children learn by example. So whatever are the rules and regulations for your children will also have to apply to her. She will try to divide and conquer both of you, but you must have a united front. Believe me, children need to see adults in control.

If you and this young man stand any chance of a true future together and becoming a new version of the “Brady Bunch”, open communication is key! Make sure you are at all times on the same page with regard to his child’s mother, her legal issues, his daughter and of course your children. Wow! I forgot the most important factor…make time for the both of you as well. That is a must. Have faith, and take it one step at a time together. With unity there is nothing that can’t be accomplished! Be Blessed Out, Not Stressed Out!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.