Dear Pastor
January 13, 2006
They only have sex to offer

Hello Pastor,

Greetings to you in the most precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I have been dating in and out with different guys, but the relationships don’t last. The problem is not with me, with the guys, they only have sex to offer and nothing else. So most of the time, I just walk out of the relationship. {{more}}

What is the best thing I can do to have a good relationship going?

Hi my Dear,

If you are constantly hooking up with guys who see you as “a piece of meat” then you may need to reconsider the process you use to explore these relationships. Things like where you usually meet guys, how soon you allow them to take you out and “get close”, can help to identify the problems you are facing.

You see the problem is not that guys have sexual desires towards you because that in itself is a natural human response. The problem as you rightfully cited is when that’s all they want.

Because as special and desirable sex is…, AND IT IS, a lasting, meaningful relationship must have more than sexual fire. We are not animals or rather we should not behave like animals that just follow their sexual instinct. Our existence is much more meaningful than that and even though we seem to be heading headlong into that type of lifestyle and it is even being promoted in the media and through modern music it is good to know that as a woman you are holding out for more in a relationship.

Listen even though it seems a hard road to travel, don’t lower your standard, in fact I challenge you to strengthen it. By your greeting I suspect that you are a Christian or at least religious. So endeavor to honour God no matter how hard it gets, keep walking away from frivolous, fleshy, “doglike” relationship offers and hold out for someone who will want you as a person, all of you. When you find that person, hold on to him, marry him and experience the fulfillment of a meaningful God-fearing relationship … and of course enjoy the sex too!!!!!!