Dear Pastor
October 7, 2005
Every little thing is causing war at home

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for all the good advice you usually give weekly. Pastor, I read a recent reply you gave to someone complaining about their wife. He was complaining about her nagging him and so on and when I read it I thought about myself.

Pastor, my wife has never really been a nagging woman and we have a good enough relationship. But recently I find that the smallest things cause big arguments between us and that is frustrating. {{more}}

You see, I am a very quiet person and I hate it when I have to fuss and fight; that is not my style.

I really need some advice because it is not like we are arguing about big things – like adultery or anything like that – but it’s like every little thing causing war. I really want to stop this because I am fed up of it. Please give any advice you can.

Need Help

Dear Need Help

When last have you and your wife just run away on a little R&R (rest and relaxation)? Could it be that you guys are just a little burnt out? You know it is not strange for couples to feel a bit stressed and burnt out as they go through their day- to- day routine of hustle and bustle. Waking early, going to bed late, balancing the budget….even for the best of us, life can take its toll. Of course, faith in God, and rest in his ability and willingness to take care of your every need and guide you through the maze of life is crucial to the handling of the “wars”.

However, couples often need some time away with each other, cuddling, relaxing to help them bring back some perspective to every thing they are dealing with, so you should consider that. And don’t tell me, “Well, Pastor, we have no money,” because I didn’t say to take a trip around the world or even leave the country. Wherever you live, all you may need to do is go to the opposite end, find a little house to relax in, preferably near to a beach and just spend a couple days unwinding. If you can afford it, a trip to the Grenadines may also be perfect…….consider Union Island (forgive my bias).

I see too many couples overrun with stress and needing a break. But in our minds a holiday is only New York, Canada or England and the sooner we change that concept, the better. There are so many beautiful Caribbean islands that are waiting to thrill us if we will just adjust our scope of thinking.

Also, as you guys look into what your arguments are mostly about, you may need to take a serious introspective look and don’t just brush it off as not important or minor. Don’t give the devil (who hates marriage) any opportunity to get his evil foot into your marital door.

Pastor Jackson