Dear Pastor
May 27, 2005
I seem to find older women attractive

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for the insight you give weekly, for those of us that need someone’s point of view on things that we can’t resolve for ourselves.

My problem is that I always find myself attracted to older ladies who have kids. I am now in my early twenties and each time I have been with someone she has been older and I am wondering if that is natural. {{more}}I have been with a lady with three kids, one with two and a couple of them with just one. I think that the fact that I was brought up by a stepfather plays a role in my decision to be with these single parent ladies. What do you think?

I need your advice. Thank you in advance. Keep up the good work.

Need Advice.

Dear Need Advice

It is said that age is just a number and at times I believe that this could be true, but often in situations like yours, there are reasons for the tendency. You hinted something quite possible in my mind, which is, the fact that you were raised by a stepfather contributing to your mental swing towards women in such situations.

It means that the possible stigma or social concern may not bother you too much, since you may have experienced the rescued feelings of being raised by a man who, while not your biological father, stepped in and became a father, guide and possibly, role model in your life.

You must make sure, however, that you are not harbouring a “missionary spirit” when it comes to your choice of relationship. Simply put, you should be intrigued by, fall in love with, desire to build your future with the WOMAN. You must see qualities in that woman that indicates the possibility of having a life long partner.

The fact that she has children should not be detraction. If you are so enraptured however, it is equally dangerous to see yourself as a “missionary” hence making the children’s need for a father your motivation.

Maybe you should chat with your stepfather and you may realize that he fell in love with your mother and embraced her children as part of her and not the other way around.

I am also concerned that a man in his early twenties has already been in at least four relationships… you need to settle down and get a grip of who you are. Take your time, find yourself, then find a woman with whom you will fulfill your destiny with… weather she has children or not!

Pastor Jackson