Dear Pastor
March 4, 2005
My best friend not talking to me after I told her I love her

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your articles and really do enjoy them. Pastor, I have a problem and I could do with some advice real bad right now.

Pastor, I was getting to know this girl now for over a year. We are just friends, and we are both in relationships. I am however really attracted to her. The thing is, I thought she realized that, and thought that the best thing was to let her know how I feel so that we can clear the air. I did not want any uncomfortable vibes in our friendship. {{more}}

Pastor, I am really committed to my relationship and she is to hers so I had no intention of trying anything behind her. But now that I have told her she has locked me off. She is now being very abrupt when I call and it is really bad. I do not want to lose her friendship, and no matter how much I ask her she is not talking to me about it. What should I do?


Dear Confused,

I suspect that your friend may very well have similar feelings towards you. The thing is she might have known how you felt and how she herself felt about you, but when you spoke it, she may now be feeling as though she is forced to deal with her own attraction .

The thought of talking about it may be scary to her and she may just be hiding as a way of letting it pass.

If I were you I would not push the talk, you may be able to handle your attraction (as you have indicated) but your friend maybe finding it a bit more difficult so she is safe guarding herself. I however believe if you stay true to your word and maintain the purity of your intentions, then in time, she will come around and realize that you can feel attraction towards other people even though you are in a relationship. You can also discipline your self to be pure and faithful.

Give your friend her space, let her catch her breath, everything will work out fine.

Pastor Jackson