Dear Pastor
February 11, 2005

I just found out my best friend is gay

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and do enjoy it.

Pastor I am dealing with a situation right now and would really like to have some advice. I am attending secondary school and I have a very good friend with whom I usually lime a lot. Someone told me recently that they heard that my friend was gay. The person who told me is someone who will not make up that kind of story; he is usually a very serious person. {{more}}

Now I am really confused because my friend and I are close, but if he is gay then my name might start to call and I cannot deal with that. And to make matters worse I can’t stand the whole homosexual lifestyle.

Quite frankly, it makes me sick so I don’t know how I am going to deal with him now.

Pastor, I have never suspected anything like that before because he has never passed his place with me, but now that I know, I feel uncomfortable around him. How do you think I should handle this situation?


Dear confused,

You are really in a tough situation and I understand your predicament. If what is said about your friend is true, then you two, being so close, does open up the door for accusations against you. You must confront your friend with what you have heard, airing your concerns about the lifestyle and the implications it can have upon your reputation.

If he is indeed living that type of lifestyle I will advise not to be so close as you were for wisdom’s sake. I know many may cry foul and ask where is the spirit of love and so on, but as a young man, you must also be expedient in your actions.

Your friend must know that you object to his lifestyle and harbour concerns about what a close relationship with him can do to your character and if he is a true friend I believe he himself will understand.

I don’t think it means that you will stop speaking to him or anything that extreme, but rather, exercise discretion.

Above all, though I do hope that he isn’t really embracing that ungodly, abominable way of life then your information is all a big misunderstanding.

Pastor Jackson