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Mother running my life

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Dear Pastor Jackson,

I see you recently answered a letter from someone whose mother was interfering with her life.

Well I have a similar problem I would like to share with you. I brought a young man home to my mother and expressed to her that we would be seeing each other. {{more}}

Now I am an adult in my 20s so I did it only out of tradition, good manners and respect for her. When I brought my friend home, instead of being nice she started talking about feeling uncomfortable in her “spirit” about the relationship and things like that. Pastor, I felt such shame I wish the earth could have opened and swallowed me up.

Now she is a Christian and she went on and on about seeing bondage for me in the future and even went as far as to say to the young man that he looks nice but he has violent and deceptive spirits lurking in his heart. Pastor, she left the living room and went into her bedroom then came out and said that he is not welcomed in our home.

So now we are dating but he is not allowed to visit our home and the only reason she isn’t banning me is because she cannot because I am working and will leave home if she tries to treat me like a child. The sad thing is the pastor of her church and other so-called spiritual people are encouraging her.

I always read your articles and I know she does too; maybe she will listen to you. Is it right for her to treat someone I brought to our home like that and should she be using God to break up our relationship when there is nothing she knows that is bad about my friend? I think that is unfair.

Need Your Opinion


I agree with you on one thing: your mother should have been more hospitable in her first meeting with your friend. She could have met him, showed good Christian hospitality and when he left then let you know how she feels and what she discerns. Now from what you described, I hope it is accurate to presume that she usually will share stuff with you that she feels in her spirit concerning you or other matters. You may need to ask yourself, is she usually right or wrong? Because the answer to that will tell you how much weight what she feels in her spirit should have with you.

You see, my dear girl, I believe in the gifts of the Spirit of God and KNOW that many times we receive insights from the Lord on matters that no immediate evidence can really prove. However, I also believe people can use the “sense in my spirit” card to really express what they want or feel, which is manipulation. But no one can know your mother like you, what kind of Christian is she, is she a fair lady, usually hospitable, does she ordinarily give you room to make your own choices? If the answers to these questions are positive then the fruit of your mother’s life makes what she said to you worth thinking about.

In the end you are right, you are an adult and so free to make your choices, but in the multitude of counsel there is safety. So I guess it comes down to is, do you trust your mummy’s relationship with the Lord enough to make her statement matter in your decisions, and even more importantly why don’t you have a relationship with him yourself so that He can give you the insights you need to live?

It may sound old-fashion and unpopular but I have seen countless people make decisions that seem logically okay but were advised otherwise by someone who discerned the long run and in the end they got hurt… and very badly!

Pastor Jackson