Dear Pastor
October 22, 2004

Woman looking for a single quiet man

Dear pastor Jackson,

I always read your article and I really like the way you deal with the issues . I have a problem and I will like to get your advice. There is this young man who had liked me a very long time but I did not like him. While we were going to school he will always ask me out but I keep on rejecting him over and over. {{more}}Pastor back then I was what you might call a bit of a wild girl. This boy was very quiet and church going and things like that so he wasn’t my type. Pastor I recently went through a real tough time with my last boyfriend, he really embarrassed and hurt me and I have been struggling to move on. But now I find myself really looking at the same boy I told you about. I want to change up my life style and it is someone like him I am looking for. He doesn’t know what happened in my life and we only speak casually but I am really considering pushing for more because I heard he is single and I do not want to lose the chance to be happy. How do you think I should go about getting his attention

Moving on.

Hi Moving on,

You should not try to get his attention ; you need to get your self together. After being hurt it is natural self defence to seek safety and comfort with a limited risk of hurt. But this young man should not be your healing pad. Unless you deal with your errors, hurts and feelings you will not be fit for a relationship and will only spill your mess unto this unaware young man.

The funny thing is though just last week I was speaking to two young ladies and we were having an interesting discussion on relationships. One of the young ladies was commenting that she will not have a relationship with a man her age because most young men are immature and so on . As we discussed I was making the point that sometimes young ladies when they are younger are not interested in the quiet, well behaved young men and are often attracted to the rankers, athletes etc. however quite often these unassuming young men turn out to be very mature well balanced, decent young men,(ideal candidates for a relationship , right?) While the rankers, bad boys often continue this part into lives that leave lots to be desired. My two friends acknowledge this as fact in their own lives and it is clear that you might have a similar testimony. But it is not over, get your life in shape true happiness will be waiting to greet you. Just a thought in closing; who else is best suited to guide you into peace and contentment than the almighty God who created you?