Dear Pastor
May 14, 2004

Is every marriage of God?

Dear Pastor,

Keep up the good work that you are doing. There is something that I have been thinking about recently, and I am wondering what is your take on it.
I know that the Bible speaks about marriage being honourable and generally shows that marriage is the way God has ordered families to be structured. But is every marriage of God? Does He bless every union? Because I have seen some marriages and you can tell from the very beginning that they are doomed and so said so done.
So how does God fit in?

Just Wondering
Hi Just Wondering,

Very interesting question. My short answer is NO, God does not put every marriage together, but let me elaborate a bit. We are yet as a people to understand that God’s blessings are hinged on obedience – not just to his general word (the Bible), but also to specific direction given to individuals whether in their own spirits, through a word of wisdom or even through counselling.
I have had the opportunity to do a fair bit of marriage counselling within my nine or so years of ministry and I see it all the time. I have had to outrightly say to a few couples, “If you get married you will not make it.”
Sometimes it is: “If you get married NOW you will not make it.” But often people just follow their hearts and enter into unions that are doomed barring complete change of character in the individual(s) or a miracle from the Lord.
The thing is, though, once you enter into that covenant it is sealed and blessed, unless of course it contravenes biblical guidelines – e.g., a person taking away someone’s husband and later marrying that person.
Then again there is the ongoing theological debate about God’s mercy, especially if such actions were done while one was unsaved. How does that person stand when they accept the Lord? Have old things been passed away and ALL things become new? But to answer your concerns I will not go down that long road of discussion.
What I will say is that in the multitude of counsel there is safety and people must take their time when making such a step into the covenant of marriage. If everyone who loves you sees a particular problem in a relationship it, will serve that couple well to slow down, re-examine and seek counsel before they take another step. The objections, fears, uneasiness more than likely are a warning from the Lord… take heed.
The main problem I believe there is, though, is that people do not see marriage as “till death do us part” any more. Nowadays it is, “Until I can’t stand you no more.” Maybe that is why it is no big deal to enter into a bad marriage since many have their get-out clause.
But marriage is still honourable and it is still God-designed and I am confident that any couple who seeks Him first, follows His words and seeks Godly counsel will have a solid, Godly marriage. Tough times may come but with a sure foundation they will make it.
Pastor Jackson