Rats want part ah de education revolution

Last week de Tie-One-Knees Ambassador was giving out money to fight de Moko Disease dat killing out we Bananas; no sooner we think we dealt wid dat we hear Rats tek over C.W. Prescod Primary School and dey had to close de building foh at least ah week.

So next week we could expect another hand-out from Shove-his maybe to e-Rat-icate de Rodents knocking down de town.{{more}}

When ah went to study in Calgary, Alberta Canada, ah was told it was not only de cleanest city in North America but dat de whole Province was Rat-free since 1950, it was also illegal to keep pet Rats, ah lived there foh two years and never see ah Rat and ah overs it is still Rat-free. When ah came back home in 1972, rats was licking down Kingstown, de pests needed to be Rat-ioned. Play-writer Blazer Williams was pioneering ah “one man calm-pain on Rats”; at all ah Blazer’s New Artist Movement’s Drama production one was sure to hear in “de News in brief (underpants)” about de extent to which ‘de Rats taking over de town”. He still writes on Rats but not as frequent, he is close to de Red Rat Party so he has to be Rat-ional, wid all de corruption teking place, if he write bout any kind ah Rodent, dem fellars go tek offence and say he taking ah swipe at dem personally.

After de news broke on CW Prescod School, ah went looking on de internet foh info on Rats, and very dangerous animals, dey capable of spreading no less dan thirty disease, Leptospirosis is de worse. Some 650 species all kind ah Rats: Black Rats, White Rats, Brown Rats, no Red Rats at all, no wonder Julian wanted to change de Party’s Sue-dah-name from Red Rats to Black Ants. Other species include Bush Rats, House Rats, Gutter Rats, Public Works Rats, Agriculture Rats, Post Office, Finance, Treasury and Customs Rats, Bank Rats, all ah dem Banks got Rats, too; would yuh believe Police Canteen Fun Rats on de list but no School Rats, Lie-Za say dem Rats dat invaded C.W. Prescod School only playing bright say de want go school too, dey hear bout de ULP Red Rats Education Revolution, and it’s program of Education foh all, so dey say Red Rat or Black Rat, all Rat is Rat time to go school and get ah Education too, be part ah de Revolution!.

But Rat is ah serious pest, last year dey had ah Rat Summit, yes, but dat was not ah meeting ah all Rats, ah con-friends on Rats, now come to think of it, yuh know we got ah lot ah Rats does dress-up in nice clothes to attend Sum-it and Rat-tle ah set ah fart now-ah-daize. Anyhow Some alarming figures came to light at de Sum-it, some experts think dat in big cities the Rat-io is about twenty Rats per person, dat figure was challenged; but if even we Rat-ify de figure in SVG to one Rat per person, we still in trouble. Interestingly though, de way we put out trash in plastic bags is nothing short of holding ah nightly banquet foh City Rats sorry, Town Rats. Put de plastic bags in ah metal drum and keep it covered.

Sometime last year de department foh Rats was on ah calm-pain setting poison all in de gutters in town, but while dat will have instant effect, de experts say dat short term poisoning calm-pains don’t work- in fact massive Rat poisoning simply reduce de population temporarily, eliminating competition and spurring de Rats reproductive cycles, six months after, the number of Rats will be higher than before de calm-pain.

Ah hear Arm-in say he getting rid ah de Red Rats before dey term up in 2010, he better wait ley dem Red Rats die ah natural death, because if he planning to use any Rat-posion, six months after he will be in serious trouble, he will see Red Rats coming from all over, foh sure de Cuban Ambassador dun straighten out Leacock and tell him to no his place, dat’s not ah Cuban style, she is correct.

If de experts are correct, we will not be able to mek dis country Rat-free, not wid our health and high-genes practices, de way we deal with our garbage and left overs are excellent foh breeding Rats. Dey say de effective way is de ole tried and true method of eliminating de Rats food, water and living areas; in other words stop feeding de Rats and stop practices dat give dem comfortable places to live.

Some time last year ah hel-of-ah Black Rat run me out ah de kitchen, next day ah went and bought three packs ah Rat poison (pellets), two days after de number trippled, dat poison had to be ah vitamin. Well de wife suggested ah try de ole time method her parents used in de countryside, Master Pussaline de Cat. Ah enquired and heard Miss Mulraine had kittens; first ah ordered one and den ah double de order and took two males, Shivers and Friday, Ram Cat in dey tail. Dat very night dem two lickle boys cornered one ah dem big Rat and it was war foh ah half hour in de kitchen. Dey left de head and de tail as proof foh me too see next morning. Foh de next week or so dey were catching three and four mice daily. Ah will not be dat ir-Rat-ional to say my house is Rat-free, but ah challenge any Rat, Red or Black to prove me wrong, come in de house, Shivers and Friday waiting foh dey tail!

Lie-Za say way we getting up-tight and panic-in over Rat for, Rat is ah part ah Vincy Folklore, den she reminds me ah de story when de Country Rat came town foh de first time and de Town Rat bet he could prove to him dat he is not ah real Rat? Dey waited till de school children passing, same time Town Rat ran across de road and all de children shouted “look ah Rat”. Den town Rat signaled to Country Rat to follow, dis time de kids shouted “look ah nuddah one”. Town Rat turned to Country Rat and said: “ yuh see way ah tell yuh, yuh hear way dey call yuh, ‘ah nuddah one”!

WAY DE SHAM PAIN DOC

Doc Fraser friends ask me to congratulate him on his promotion to Senior Lecturer UWI. But dey say he may keep it covered foh as long as he wishes, he will still have to come up wid de Sham-Pain to celebrate. Watch out foh dem boys Doc, dey planning to order de drinks and send yu de bill. And wid dat, ah gone again.

One Love Bassy.